Uplevel Your Life with Pat Divilly

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Upgrade your thinking to uplevel your life. That is the mantra that Pat Divilly lives by. Pat is an author, speaker, and high performance coach who is passionate about helping people reach new levels of purpose, passion, and fulfilment through movement and mindset. He features regularly in print media, radio, and TV, sharing his knowledge of physical and mental fitness. Pat takes us through the story about the turning point in his life, and shares his knowledge and insight on increasing productivity, sustaining wellness, and finding flow. 

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Uplevel Your Life with Pat Divilly

I have a great interview with a good friend of mine, Pat Divilly. Pat is one of the humblest people that I know. I wanted to share with you how awesome of a person he is and all the good that he's doing and sharing in the world. You'll hear in the conversation how much action he takes to the point where it is so inspiring to hear that even with a handful of people at his very first fitness event. He was expecting twenty people and five showed up. The reframe, the excitement, and the gratitude that he has is infectious. I'm excited for him to tell you the story about the turning point in his life. It's so much better when he tells it, but it is amazing to hear somebody's low point and then where they are a year later. The other thing that I appreciate about Pat is that he breaks things down, not in terms of, five-year goals, but in terms of daily goals and habits. He makes it super simple and incredibly actionable. I am really excited to bring him and his mindset to you.

Pat is a bestselling author and corporate speaker from Galway, Ireland, who features regularly in print media, radio and TV, sharing his knowledge of physical and mental fitness. He has worked with some of the UK and Ireland's best-known companies helping their staff increase productivity, wellness and flow. He talks a lot about those three topics on this show, which is exciting to hear. I know I certainly learned a ton. His most popular keynotes look at the areas of resilience, energy management and finding flow in business and life. The growth of his business led Pat to be acknowledged by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg for his use of social and being named one of Ireland's Best Young Entrepreneurs in 2014. Pat's group have raised over €250,000 for local charities and built a primary school in Nepal. He has now emerged as one of the country's top up and coming corporate speakers, coaches and trainers and is available for keynotes and training in the area of mental and physical fitness as well as resilience and energy management.

He has such an impressive track record. He has built a school in Nepal. He casually mentioned that that might be something he's proud of. At the end of the show, which I do for all my guests, I asked him to stay after for a couple of minutes and asked him a couple of rapid-fire business questions. We talked about things like the greatest strategy that he's implemented in the last few years that had the most significant impact on the growth of his business. We talked about the biggest mistake that he sees entrepreneurs making in the early stages of their business. One thing that he wished he had done sooner, the greatest investment he's ever made in himself. The last question was, what is one emerging business trend that you think people need to hop on right now? His answer had us in stitches. This is such a great interview. We go through a bunch of different tips, tools and strategies that you will not want to miss. That is completely free. I want to thank him for being such an amazing friend, a huge supporter of mine throughout the last several years. I am so excited to share his wisdom with you.

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I am very excited to bring on a great friend of mine, Pat Divilly. Pat, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you. I'm delighted. It's good to catch up as always.

We've known each other for quite a few years. I think it was 2015.

It was a fest in Costa Rica.

To give people a little bit of context, we had, if you remember, mutual friends that connected us prior to arriving. To be honest, we weren't great about communicating beforehand. We were sitting at dinner. I remember your name popped up and I was like, "That name sounds familiar." You realized before I did that our friend had connected us. We were chatting. It was so funny. I had a friend of mine when we took a picture together, you and me, one of my Irish friends wrote to me and was like, "YOU KNOW PAT DIVILLY?" That was the moment I was like, "Why? Yeah." It was such a funny moment for me because I realized that like, "Is there something I don't know, how does everybody know you? My random Irish friends know who you are. It was such a funny moment for me. This past summer, I was in Ireland. I got to spend a lot of time, an afternoon or morning with you hiking and hanging out. I've so enjoyed getting to know you and watch your journey along the way.

 
Uplevel Your Life: If other people are doing something, there must be a way of making it happen.
 

Thank you. It was cool. There are hundreds of people at those events, but you only get to connect with a few people. We had a nice little crew there. We've all been in touch since, so it's been great.

I want to jump in and throw you a softball at the beginning, which is normally people like this is the hardest question ever. I want to ask who is the real Pat Divilly?

I am someone who's always trying to evolve, becoming and unbecoming as you talk about, someone who's finding himself all the time. Someone who's inspired by life, excited by life, opportunities, possibilities, growth, challenge, and inspired by everything, by every conversation, by every person that I meet, by every challenge I face. I'm excited by life. It wasn't always that way but that's probably who I am at my core.

Your TEDx Talk, you talked about how you are at this low point and crying on a bus. Can you give us the CliffsNotes version for people that might not be able to hear that talk?

The long and the short of it was I had a passion for fitness from the time I was in my early teens. It was the first thing that ever gave me confidence. When I finished school, I decided I want to open a gym. I went and worked in different gyms. I left Galway, which is my hometown. I went to Dublin, which is the capital here in Ireland. I was in social media putting out an image of how well I was doing because I want to be successful. Looking back over the young guy that didn't believe in himself. I thought that if I achieved external success, eventually I learned to believe in myself. Through social media, I put out an image of doing well and training famous models and all this stuff. The reality was I was working in a clothes shop in Dublin.

I didn't have any clients. The famous times I did train was training for free. I was struggling to pay the rent. I was struggling with my mental health. I was too stubborn to come home to my parents, my family, and my friends having failed. For eighteen months, I struggled by. Christmas Eve came in 2011 and my dad rang me up. I was working in the clothes shop. He said, "We want you home. Your family wants to see you." I broke down on the phone and I started to say, "I'd been living in a lie. Things were not going well." I'd have to borrow money for the bus.

I borrowed €15 for the bus home. Usually, when you get the bus from Dublin to your hometown, you always meet people that you grew up with or that you knew or your family and friends and stuff like that. I don't know who was on the bus that day because I just put my hood up. I put my head down. I was 24 and I cried for three hours because I felt financially broke, but emotionally I was broken and at a lost. I felt like a huge failure. One of the turning points for me, I suppose, I came home. My mom's birthday was Christmas Day. I couldn't afford a gift for her, which broke my heart. I moved back in with my parents. I accepted defeat. I got work in a pizza shop. That was the start of it all.

Can you tell me what was that conversation like with your dad? I'll say the people that I know that live in your neck of the woods are very reserved. I guess that could be said for anybody, but to admit to your family that you're not being the person that you know you can be or that you're having a tough time. What was that conversation like?

That was one of the most difficult I've ever had because men, in particular, have this relationship with their father where they are always trying to win approval or acceptance or validation from your dad and get the acceptance and live up to their expectations whether they're real expectations or ones that you've built in your mind. He always told me the fitness thing wasn't going to work because there wasn't a market for it that I should get a real job. I was adamant that I was going to make it work. To have to go back and say, "You were right. I couldn't make it happen," was difficult. On different levels, I was ashamed. Shame was the big feeling because it had helped me go through university. I got a Master’s in Nutrition. I couldn't have done that without his help. To fail, it was hard. He was the last person in the world that I wanted to admit defeat to or fail I suppose. It was a tough time. It's tough not living up to what I felt were his expectations. For my mom with her birthday on Christmas Day, I didn't feel like a good son. I didn't feel like a real man that I couldn't afford a gift for the most important person in my life. It was a low point for sure.

You said to turn it around, you had a conversation, a phone call with a man, an Irish guy that changed everything. That was another turning point that lifted you up. Can you talk about that?

Uplevel Your Life: Life can be hard. It's very difficult if you don't have passion and purpose for your life.

Uplevel Your Life: Life can be hard. It's very difficult if you don't have passion and purpose for your life.

I started working in a pizza shop. That knocked my confidence, not that there's anything wrong with working anywhere, but at the time everyday people that I'd grown up with would come into the shop and there's this disconnect. They'd say, “I thought you were a well-known trainer in Dublin,” judging by social media, "What are you doing working here?" It would knock my confidence every day. I was trying to figure out my next move. After six months of depression, and walking up and down the local beach crying, and trying to figure out like a light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, I had the realization, I suppose that if other people are doing something, there must be a way of making it happen. There was a trainer in the UK called Mark who I was following on social media looked to be doing well. I reached out to him and I said, "Could you give me some advice?" I hoped he would message me back on Facebook or whatever but he actually rang me. At the time, I was so broke that the idea of someone ringing from a different country, I taught he was rich.

This is something I've learned since as a coach, he didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. He gave me some beliefs that I didn't have. He said, "Hey." He had such energies like, "Teach outdoor fitness classes. You don't have to pay any rent. People would love training outdoors," all this stuff. He gave me this little nudge. Based off of that, I decided to teach a fitness class on my local beach once there was work in the restaurant. I got 5,000 flyers printed up. I put them everywhere I could. I put them in every hairdresser, beauticians in my hometown because I felt if I got some of the women from those spaces training, they’d tell all their clients. I turned off my first morning and I had five clients. To me, it was life-changing. To a lot of other people, that would have turned around and gone back home because I had visions of twenty or 30 people showing up. Five people showed up and for me with no confidence at the time, to feel like five people believed in me enough to pay me €75 for a month of training.

It turned my life around. I went with the impression of if I'm the best part of these people's day, every time they train with me. I see beyond the identity that they put across or the masks that they wear. Being at such a low point myself, I recognize that I would wear a mask every day and pretend that I was okay. I thought, surely some of my clients come to me are struggling on as well with their mental health or with their stress or with the way that they see the world. Maybe they don't get acknowledged at home or at work. I said for 45 minutes they come to me and if I can make their day magic, my task will grow. Within three months, there were 100 people on the beach. Within a year, I brought out a book and opened a gym. It all started happening and snowballing.

First of all, the five people that came that made everything that so many people would look at that and say, "Five people registered for my course or five people signed up for my latest program." For you to say, "This gives me hope," and to go on a year from now. A lot of times we look to the future. It looks foggy and we don't look with clarity. For you to see a year from that moment that your life had completely changed is inspiring. I want to talk about a little bit more about this unbecoming process. You know that for me I'm becoming as a practice. It's constantly shedding this idea of letting go of judgments and expectations and our beliefs. What is unbecoming mean to you? In that moment or throughout your life, what are some significant things that you've had to unbecome to get to where you are now?

It's magic. I went from fitness interpersonal development. When I started doing personal development, I was very much on the becoming side and didn’t understand unbecoming. I always thought it was about getting more, having more and doing more. I recognize now that a lot of my twenties, even though I had a lot of external success in the five years after that fitness class. We have 20,000 clients, a couple of bestselling books. I traveled all over the world. I raised €250,000 for charity. I built schools out in Nepal. I did a lot of things in a short period of time. I still didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. I didn't like myself. I didn't accept myself. Unbecoming to me was letting go of the need to chase things and achieve things in order to feel good enough. You hear these expressions, “I am enough.” I started hearing that a couple of years ago. I didn't understand it. The way that I've developed that mentality is to focus on the day-to-day, what I’d do in the day as opposed to what I'm going to do six months from now.

I used to say I'll be happy when and then fill in the blank. I wouldn't allow myself to be happier, to feel confident or feel any of the feelings I wanted until I achieve something. I might feel it for a moment in time and then I’d throw the ball again. I’d say I'll be happy when they get the ball. I keep throwing the ball. For me, unbecoming now is can I express myself as honestly as possible in everything that I do? Whether it’s if I'm standing on a stage, can I show up as my true self and not need to wear a mask? In my relationships, can I be vulnerable? In my training, can I express myself honestly and everything that I do that's unbecoming to me. Can I show up without the mask effectively? Can I let go of expectations on myself and other people? Can I enjoy the process of life as much as possible?

Is that something that you're able to do much better now than you were a few years ago?

It's funny because when I hit my low points, I was in a funk for six months. I was depressed. I started achieving things. That momentarily made me feel good, but I found myself probably two, three years ago, I had bought a house. I had bought a car. I had done all these external things. I was on TV and radio. I had done everything I thought you were supposed to do. I had achieved everything I thought I was supposed to do. I still felt these feelings of insecurity and insignificance and not being good enough came back. That's when it got to me because I thought when things go wrong externally and you don't feel good, you can understand it. When you feel like you have everything you thought you wanted and you still don't feel good, that's when you struggled.

At that point, I started slowing down. I started being more conscious of the choices I was making. I started journaling. I started meditating. I made Jujitsu, presenting Jujitsu a daily practice because that's something I love. I focused on self-care I suppose. That's a bit of a buzzword. Self-care to me is doing the things I enjoy every day without fail and spending time with people I love every day without fail. It's put me in a completely different place. Even as a speaker, as a coach, as a human, I'm a lot more grounded. I accept myself as much as I ever have done. I'm a completely different person to who I was I would say several months ago, never mind a few years ago.

I love the evolution of how we evolve as humans and as business owners. I talk a lot of times about this idea of seasons. We don't just have one purpose. We have seasons of purpose. We have seasons of life and business. If you had to break up your life into a handful of seasons, how would you label those seasons?

 
Uplevel Your Life: The act of showing up, if you're in the right environment, is nearly all you need to do.
 

My teens were trying to fit in. My early twenties were trying to gain significance through external success. My late twenties were starting to understand myself. In my early 30s were finding my flow and hopefully encouraging other people to do the same. A few years ago as a public speaker, I was a guy on a stage who could talk the talk in terms of like, I'd read every personal development book under the sun. Whereas now as I stand on a stage or I coach someone, I feel like I'm a leader in the sense that I'm not telling anyone to do anything that I'm not doing myself. I'm in flow at the moment. That will be my season at the moment.

It's all over your videos and your website and all the things that you do is talking about passion, fulfillment, and purpose. Those three words to me exude from you in our conversations. Why are those three things specifically important to you?

I suppose I made the mistake of going after other things. I feel challenged. I absolutely think the purpose is the number one thing in life. Where I'm from, there's a river in town where a lot of young people every year either throw themselves in the river or they ended up ending their lives by falling into the river for whatever reason. There's been another case in the last couple of weeks. It makes me pause and reflect and it's sobering to think that people don't feel like they have a passion or a purpose. When you have that, everything else becomes tolerable. Life can be hard and it's very difficult if you don't have passion and purpose for your life. I looked back to the young guy I was working in a pizza shop and I showed up for work every day. I was at a low point because I thought I didn't matter. I thought I didn't make a difference to the world. I thought the world wouldn't be any different if I wasn't here. If I look back on that moment now, I was a young guy in a pizza shop that was meeting probably a hundred people every day. I could have made those people's day. That's passion. That's the purpose. It's how you approach things. It's not so much your actual situation as to how you see yourself and how you see the world.

That's why I'm passionate about both having purpose in my own life. You look at celebrities, I guess that achieve everything they want to achieve. As soon as they have nothing left to achieve, as soon as they have no purpose or meaning left, they derail and they go off the deep end. We all need it. It's something special. It leads us to grow. That leads us to get out of our own way. When you're passionate or you're purposeful about something, you're leaning into your fears. A lot of people have fears that hold them back in life, but they don't see anything worthwhile on the fireside because they haven't figured out what the purpose is or they don't see enough meaning in what they want to do. If we can find more meaning in our lives, find more fulfillment if we can be true to ourselves and continue to lean into what fields exciting to us but scary. Life is this amazing opportunity to meet a new part of yourself every day.

How do you do that through? I know you talked about journaling, Jujitsu, which I do want to put a pin in because I want to talk about that because it's a huge part of your life. How do you continue to do that on a daily basis, on a weekly basis? Do you check in with yourself? What does that look like?

Journaling has been one of the biggest things in my life in the last couple of years. It's something that's free. The way I describe it to people is that journaling is effectively having a conversation with yourself and getting to know yourself. We're often fixated with conversations with other people, with reading other people's material. If I talk about the seasons of my life, my twenties were about accumulating as much information as I could. It was probably one of the turning points are definitely something helpful with Philip McKernan's retreat back in 2016. I know you were on it the year after. Philip said, "Put down the books for a week and take out a journal." I was journaling at the time, but I stepped it up after that. I figured you could read books about your heroes, but what difference does it make in your life? What about writing about your own life? I get a pen and paper out every day. I explore new ideas. I explore my fears. I try to unpack things because when they're in your head, often times, particularly when you're stressed or when you've got a lot going on, you become very attached to your thoughts and your stories.

When you get it on paper you can start to unpack them and see what's true. For most of us, 95% of our thoughts are the same thoughts as we had yesterday. A lot of them don't support us because we've got this negativity bias. When you take out a pen and paper, you'll open up the possibility. You open up new ideas. You open up new perspectives. You get to see the world and see yourself differently. You also get to check in with like is how I'm living making me happy? If not, what's one that would change it? I'm all about the small changes consistently. I talk about this idea of the stretch zone where a lot of people live in a comfort zone. When they get fed up of that, they jump into a panic zone where they try to change everything instantly. They end up back in comfort and they jump between the two back and forth. Stretch zone is this beautiful spot in the middle where you're challenging yourself a little bit beyond your comfort zone, but not so much that it's overwhelming.

If you do that consistently over time effectively, you make the impossible possible. It's the idea of flow. Journaling is a part of that for me for sure. Checking in every week, simple things, I shouldn't make everything as I'm not a very academic person, so I keep it simple. I sit down on Sunday. I ask myself what my priorities are. I try to live in integrity in the sense that a lot of people there's a disconnect between what they say is important and who they say is important, and then how they actually live. Your calendar and your schedule can tell a lot about what's important to you.

I love the idea of the stretch zone, so I want to go there. I love when people are like, "It's your comfort zone." I don't believe that it should be called your comfort zone. It should be your discomfort zone because it feels like why do we get so comfortable here and comfortable is nice, but that's not where we want to play. I'm sure there's a lot of clamoring for the panic zone and going back on all the things that you set out to do at the beginning of the year. It's hard and you're there. You've fasted for ten days or whatever you set out to do. In your stretch zone right now, what's there for you?

It's funny because I'm seen as a goal setting guy for certain clients. When I stand on stages, they'll ask about my big goals. There aren't all that many big goals anymore. It's more the process of getting better at the couple of things that I do. I do Jujitsu. I speak on stages. I coach. Those are three of my primary focuses in life. I try to get a little bit better every day and that's a case of showing up. Stretch zone for me with speaking will be telling new stories, not relying on old stories, showing off a bit more honestly as myself, bring it a bit more fun and playfulness in my talks and not taking them too seriously. Stretch zone with coaching could be as simple as challenging my clients and not being afraid to stand up to stuff that people need to be confronted with.

 
Uplevel Your Life: Rather than just sharing strategies on stages, share stories and experiences and share yourself freely.
 

Stretch zone with my Jujitsu is training with guys that are a lot better than me or a little bit better than me rather than training with the guys I know I can beat, showing up and training with the guys that are going to make me get better. That was the kind of those. I set intentions now of things I would like to achieve, whether it's a million downloads on the podcast or I'm speaking in front of a large room. I know those intentions will only happen through the daily work. Stretch zone to me is three or four areas that I get a little bit better on every day by just showing up. The act of showing up if you're in the right environments is nearly all you need to do.

I want to circle back to Jujitsu because we talked about it when I was in Ireland. It wasn't necessarily purpose, but there was something that we were talking about. I was like, "What is that for you?" You looked at me like I was crazy, "Jujitsu." It's so funny because soccer was my life for a very long time. Is this a new thing for you? How long is this season of Jujitsu had been happening for you?

When I was in my teens, I was bullied a bit as a kid. The first thing that gave me confidence, two things. One was martial arts and the other was weight training. That's how I got into fitness initially. In my late teens, I gave up the martial arts to become a grownup. I focused on the wrong things. I focused on external success and chasing achievements. I stopped doing the thing that I love. There's something in that for a lot of people that identify in your life, when did you stop doing the thing that brought you joy every day and could you put it back into place? Ultimately, the late twenties I had achieved a certain amount of things externally that should have interior made me happy, but I didn't feel happy. I went back to that and I said, "When was that my happiest?" One of the times I was at my happiest was when I was eighteen, I lived out in San Diego. I slept in the gym out there. I trained Jujitsu all the time. I said, "I'm going to bring Jujitsu back into my life." It takes a lot of boxes for me at this time in life. It's challenging physically and mentally. It's not a team sport, but I'm part of a team in the club that I'm in. It's social. For me, it's a meditation. It's a moving meditation because when you're in that zone, you're not thinking about the future or the past. I can't describe it. I love it. It's one of my favorite things in life and it always will be.

I can relate to a lot of that. I hit a level of burnout in soccer that took probably five to six years to get through that. I'm in Austin so looking for a soccer team to play. The role of sports and you talk a lot about movement in your practice. What can we take away from the piece of movement that you often talk about as far as building a business or being an entrepreneur, being a great human?

It's difficult to live in your head all the time. The way that we live at the moment we’re in front of screens a lot of the time. We're trying to balance a million different things. We live in a paradoxical age in the sense that we've got so much opportunity. That opportunity brings a lot of noise, a lot of distraction, a lot of fear of missing out. My dad always jokes that when you go to Thailand, you take out your phone and you see your friend is in Bali and suddenly you feel like you're missing out on something. It's difficult to enjoy where you are. Meditation is quite difficult for people in the sense that you go from your mind being your mind going a million miles an hour trying to make it slow down.

Movement gets you out of your head and gets you into your body. Sometimes we think that we are only what's above our neck, but you've got a body that's there to be used energetically feeling good in yourself through daily practice and movements. Keep it loose and limber, staying strong and has an effect on all aspects of life. For me, it's the flow idea of, "I don't want to be in my head all the time. I want to be connected." I think about this all the time. People call it the universe or God or whatever they call it. When you see an amazing artist or an amazing musician, someone is connected to what they're doing and is hyper-present in what they're doing. That's magic.

That's why we watch our favorite artists, performers, singers and sports stars because they're in love with what they're doing and they're so present. That's what we're all chasing. We can find that through movement. I trained people in fitness capacity for years, but I would always tell people if you don't like the gym, don't go to the gym. You have to find what it is for you that you connect with. If it’s something like soccer. Others, it's martial arts. Others, it's dance. Others, it's going out walking. Another thing for me with the Jujitsu was I was trying to force myself to go and weight train, but I've grown bored of traditional weight training and traditional gyms. Rather than trying to force myself to do something I didn't enjoy because I thought I should, I said, "What would I enjoy?" That was a new approach to it.

I liked the concept of movement as a meditation movement. Choosing things that you love to do and going and doing that. The ultimate struggle that I hear all the time where people are like, "Yeah, it would be nice to be able to do what I love, but I've got to pay the bills." Maybe the pizza shop for you, for example, that's bringing in money, but there's this whole world out there that needs what you have and the gift that you have to bring to the world. What do you say to those people?

One of the mistakes that we make is we're very outcome-focused in terms of how we see the world. When I think back to when I worked at the pizza shop, I always thought I'll be successful when I have 100 clients. I wasn't thinking about getting my first client or my second client. I wasn't thinking about the journey. I sometimes tell people, if your dream is to become a yoga instructor, and you currently work in the corporate world. The dream doesn't start the day that you start your yoga practice. The dream starts the day you decide it's something you want to do because you show up to your existing job with a different perspective, with a different purpose, a different meaning to what you're doing. From the day you make a decision, that's when the work starts. That's when your purpose changes. Sometimes you see people have kids and suddenly they get out of their own way because of the reason to do what they do. I tell people that struggle with purpose and work to put up some pictures in their environment that remind them of what they're doing this for.

We talk about physical energy all the time, but spiritual energy is the purpose or the meaning we get some things that we do. If you're not enjoying your work or if you feel stuck or if you feel isolated or you feel trapped or you feel like you can't do what you want to do, start putting up those pictures within your workplace of the things you want to work toward and the reason you're showing off. Sometimes we think in life we have to make a jump from A to Z. I am in a current job that I don't like, but I can't leave because you've got a family. You don't have to leave the job and jump into something different, you could start picking up a few books and starting to study something. That's going to make you more enthused about life, enthused about the progress you can make and about saving money, about making small changes. Your life changes the day that you start putting meaning to everything that you do. You start seeing how it feeds into the bigger picture. I'm not sure if I went down a different tangent there to your question, but that's what you're asking.

 
Uplevel Your Life: When you show up fully and you live your truth, even when it's scary, you're not only supporting yourself, you're supporting everybody else because you've given them the chance to do the same.
 

When you said that people are very outcome focused, I as a former athlete, that is something that I even had a big a-ha moment. I was like, "I fall into that trap all the time where I am very outcome-focused because it was always about the scoreboard. It was not about the practice. It was how you perform to score goals, to win and to win the championships and all that stuff. I agree with you that people look at having this huge coaching business or consulting for these massive companies. They haven't made the decision and they haven't gotten their first client. Seeing what it feels like when you're in the mix. I appreciate you bringing that up because people need to hear that. When you look at the outcome or the ultimate stuff, you talked a lot about, you had all the things that you thought you should be happy with. As you have evolved through this and your businesses evolved, you have evolved, where do you find success or how do you define success in your life at the moment?

I guess freedom is a big part of this in the sense I have been lucky in the last couple of years to have a lifestyle that I get to travel and climb mountains, which is another passion. I get to train Jujitsu, daytime and evening. Rather than sharing just strategies on stages, I get to share stories and experiences and share myself freely. Everything has tied in together nicely that the life that I live in and the way that I try to live is my walking billboard for what I do as opposed to a couple of years ago, having to strategically think about what does my marketing have to look like? Who am I trying to talk to? I feel like being relatively aligned, feeling very aligned, I guess the right people come to me and that's allowing me to continue to live the way I live.

I'm in a strange position. I don't have any big goals. I want to keep doing what I'm doing. I feel like by continually doing what I'm doing and getting a little bit better at all these small daily things, big doors will open. I would love to say speaking in America at some point. I would love to grow my mastermind. I would love to do lots of things, but I'm not in any way jumping ahead of myself and trying to get somewhere. I'm taking steps every day. That's what success is to me. It's not the top of the mountain, it's making sure you're climbing the right mountain.

One of the things that you mentioned is that you are a walking billboard. I believe that we build businesses as extensions and expressions of who we are. If that were to be true for you, what do you hope that your business stands for?

Possibility, purpose, appreciation for life, self-acceptance, challenge, recognizing your beauty, recognizing your potential, recognizing your ability, recognizing your magic, recognizing purpose in your own life and helping other people find purpose in theirs.

You drop little things about how you're climbing mountains. You're doing Jujitsu. You've done so many cool things, which is why we're friends. I love watching all the things that you're doing. When you look at even over the last few years as you've transitioned through the season of figuring out who you are and this flow season that you said that you're in, what are you the proudest of?

Not to sound cliché or not to repeat what I've said, but I guess beyond the external, I'm proud of the way I show up as myself now. I'll give you an example. I went on TV a few years ago. I got a regular TV slot. I got the chance to go on and every week I was the fitness expert. As soon as I got that opportunity, I started wearing masks. I started thinking what's the fitness experts supposed to wear and how are they supposed to talk, what are they supposed to speak about? Though I've grown a business based on personal development, how people set goals and all these things that were centered around fitness, as soon as I went on TV, I felt like I had to fit into the avatar of being what I saw the fitness guy to be.

Whereas the last year, if I'm brought on TV, I'm unapologetically myself. I accept myself. I'm not worried if other people don't like it. I don't expect everyone to like me, but at least I know that I like myself. That I'm showing up as my true self. That's what I'm proud of. External things that I have done, I climbed Aconcagua and Chimborazo, they're the two big mountains of South America. I built a school in Nepal. I've raised a €250,00 for charity. Those have all been nice things that I would have never imagined possible a couple of years ago.

Where can people find you if they want to learn from you? Where can people find you if they want to connect?

I am @PatDivilly on Instagram and LinkedIn and everything else PatDivilly.com. I'm going to get out to the States quite a bit, if anyone wants to have me come and speak, I'd love to get the chance.

What is one thing that my community, my readers, can do to help you spread your message?

Follow me on Instagram or listen to my podcast and share whatever you find value in.

I encourage people to share it with the message. Many times, I get forwarded with different either podcasts or episodes or whatever. I'm like, "I never listened to them," until the person takes time and is like, "I'm sharing this because it made me think of you when you were doing this one thing,” or “We had a conversation and this sparked something that I knew I wanted to share with you." If there is a specific episode that you find value in of Pat's, which I'm sure there will be tons. Your YouTube is quite good but make sure that you're sharing it with a purpose, with a message attached to it, so it carries a little bit more weight, which I always find more valuable. Be sure to do that. Let's say that this episode was broadcasted to the entire world for the next 30 seconds, what would you say?

I would say you've got one shot at this life. It's a shame to have all the people on pedestals and not accept yourself and lean into the things that excite you. When you show up fully as you live your truth, even when it's scary, you're not only supporting yourself, you're supporting everybody else because you've given them the chance to do the same.

Thank you. I want to acknowledge you because I have been dying to get you on the show, but I also forgot to say that you are the first male that has been on my show. I've been holding off, to be honest. I was like, "I'm holding off for the right person," and you have been that person. You've been such a great friend and confidant that I know that I can tell you things that are going on in my life. I appreciate who you are for me as a friend, as someone I look up to in business and doing the things that they say they're doing, such a guy of integrity. I respect, appreciate and admire you for all of that. Thank you. I could not be more honored to have you on the show.

Thank you. Phoebe, you're the best.

Thank you again for being here. I will see you next week on the Unbecoming Podcast.

———

Wasn't that an amazing episode? I loved talking to him. I find his energy is so grounded and grounding for me as well and the things that he talks about are so actionable, so practical. I would love for you to take away something from this episode. Think about one thing that he said and how can I put that into action. He also talked about where you can find him on Instagram or Facebook, so head over there, make sure you support him and give him a heads up that I sent you from the Unbecoming Podcast. He would love that.

To remind you that we did a rapid-fire after-hours business segment where I asked him about his greatest strategy, tool or resource that he implemented in the last few years. We talked about if you lost everything in his business and had to start over, what would he do, where would he start? What is one thing he wishes he had done sooner, the greatest investment he's ever made, and then one emerging business trend that you are going to love and laugh at? We turned it around full circle. It's a great answer. Thank you again for joining. I hope you enjoy this episode. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode.

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ABOUT PAT DIVILLY

 
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Pat Divilly is a best selling author and corporate speaker from Galway who features regularly in print media, radio and TV sharing his knowledge of physical and mental fitness. He has worked with some of the UK and Ireland's best known companies in helping their staff increase productivity, wellness and 'flow'. His most popular keynotes look at the areas of resilience, energy management and finding flow in business and life.

After struggling with his first personal training business in Dublin and moving home to Galway, Pat started a small fitness bootcamp on his local beach which quickly grew into the largest fitness community in the country. Demand from outside of Galway for personal training led to Pat becoming one of the first Irish trainers to sell online personal training programs. Since May of 2012 over 20,000 clients have gone through his online training and nutrition courses.

The growth of his business led to Pat being acknowledged by Facebook C.O.O. Sheryl Sandberg for his use of social media and being named one of Ireland’s Best Young Entrepreneur’s in 2014. Pat's group have raised over €250,000 for local charities and recently built a primary school in Nepal.

He has now emerged as one of the countries top up and coming corporate speakers, coaches and trainers and is available for keynotes and trainings in the areas of mental and physical fitness as well as resilience and energy management.